Welcome
to
the School of Hard Knocks
(DISCLAIMER: This is NOT one of the schools located at Schreiner University)
An Anthology of "Lessons Learned" in Life...
...some Cold and Brutal Truths...
...and "That is SO True!" Quotes and Sayings
Submissions Welcomed! Send Via E-Mail to mdwoodhull@schreiner.edu
LIFE LESSONS
Life Lesson #1: Never throw spitballs or use a pea shooter in class. Teachers have eyes in the back of their skulls.
Life Lesson #2: Never confide to your BFF that you like a particular girl while eating lunch because the news will travel to her older-bigger-meaner boyfriend faster than you can depart the school cafeteria.
BRUTAL TRUTHS
The following "Brutal Truths" were submitted by my Entrepreneur/Corporate Mogul/Georgia Tech MBA friend, Adriana Gutierrez, who says she has, "Walked the walk, and talked the talk (on most of these brutal truths)."
Fifteen (15) Brutal Truths about Working for a Living
1. We work to put food on the table not to express ourselves, realizing this will save us disillusionment later on.
2. College does not prepare you for work, but don't worry...it didn't prepare anyone else either.
3. The person who hired you is interested mainly in what you can do for them, not the other way around.
4. Staying happy on the job is your own responsibility.
5. There is only one definition of doing a good job...making your boss look good.
6. Your real boss is the one that can get you a raise by only having to consult with one other source and can fire you without consulting with anyone else.
7. Don't expect to be thanked for a job well done, that is taken care of by the person who hands out your check.
8. The best job security is demonstrating that your position has a direct effect on the company’s bottom line, otherwise you are expendable.
9. Once you have sex with someone in the office...everyone will know (so pay attention in Business Ethics class).
10. You will only be liked by everyone in the office if you are attractive and are on the lowest rung of the organization.
11. Top bosses are not obsessed with retaining power, but rather finding a successor; this anxiety begins the minute they get the top job.
12. If you’re thinking about asking for a raise and have doubts, you won't get it. In other words, you'll know beforehand if you’re going to get it or not.
13. If you want to talk to someone don't say, "Got a minute?" It’s the most annoying thing in the world. Instead, say, "Can I please talk to you?"
14. The *BLEEP* usually hits the fan the day after the night you came in at 4 a.m..
15. The quickest way to move up the ladder is to keep an eye out for a great job for you boss.
Adriana Gutierrez also sent this little gem that speaks to my business simulation, business project, and business research teams!
The Six (6) Phases of a Project
I ENTHUSIASM
II DISILLUSIONMENT
III PANIC
IV SEARCH FOR THE GUILTY
V PUNISHMENT OF THE INNOCENT
VI PRAISE & HONORS FOR THE NON-PARTICIPANTS
CREEPIEST OF BRUTAL TRUTHS
Time is the best teacher. Unfortunately, it kills all its students...
OH THAT IS SO TRUE! Quotes and Sayings
The problem with the global village is all the global village idiots. - P. Ginsparg
Liberty is being free from the things we don't like in order to be slaves of the things we do like. - Ernest Benn
The world is divided into people who do things--and people who get the credit. - Dwight Morrow
Who is rich? He that is content. Who is
that? Nobody. - Benjamin Franklin
Once one has an idea, one finds it everywhere. - Victor Hugo,